What Can I Do to Help Others?

Posted by Elliott Connie - May 15, 2020 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

I always say in my videos that SFBT is about helping others. But helping others goes beyond my teachings. Today, I wanted to extend my thanks to the essential service workers who often go unrecognized. They help all of us function in our daily lives and they deserve to be thanked.


So, you know, we always talk about the Solution Focused Approach and recently rather than talk about the techniques associated with this approach, I’ve been really talking about the mindset. And one of the things I haven’t said a whole lot about the mindset that I think is super duper important, is how you have to be humble doing Solution Focused Brief Therapy because you really have to let the client shine. You really have to ask questions and understand this is not about my ability as a professional to help the client

like, get credit for helping the client. It’s about the client being in the forefront. It’s about me staying in the background and allowing somebody else to shine. It’s about me doing something for another person that will be in their best interest and will make it difference for them, but allowing them to be in the forefront and allowing them to shine. So you really have to be able to be someone that can let someone else benefit and feel okay with doing something for other people. And we know this is true.

Like, I’ve heard so many people say, and it’s true, that if you want to smile, do something to give a smile to someone else. So, I’m going to do something with y’all today. I’m going to take you into my world a little bit because through this pandemic when this first hit, for about two weeks I was really struggling. I spend a lot of my time traditionally on the road traveling around the world, teaching people Solution Focused

Brief Therapy. I’ve literally been on every continent in the world teaching this approach and then this pandemic hits and like every event gets canceled,

all my revenue is over. And I got down a bit. And then I did something and I’ve been doing it throughout this pandemic and it’s gonna sound strange,

but what I noticed was people talking about the doctors and the nurses and the people working on the front lines,

like they’re heroes. But the people that I saw as being heroes at that time when I was really down,

were are these 20 year old kids working at a grocery store that are allowing us to work from home.

Like, I couldn’t work from home if I couldn’t go to this grocery store and buy food and drinks and stuff like that to,

to sustain myself here at the house. Uh, so I thought, man, these are like unsung heroes.

So, I started giving a treat to the people at this grocery store and I just wanted to make somebody else smile,

hoping that that smile would splash back on me and it’s made all of the difference in the world. So I want y’all to come along with me and see what I’m talking about. goes to pizza shop and purchases 4 large pizza’s and delivers them to the grocery store

“Hey, how are you? I’m Elliott and I was just dropping off some pizza. It’s in the office there.” “Pizza for?” “The whole staff man.” “Oh okay, thank you sir!” “I don’t want to shake hands!” elbow bumps “Did you drop some off last week?” “Yeah man. So, the other day I was

talking to somebody, everybody is about all these doctors and lawyers, and all these people that are front line workers, and every time I come in here, cause I’ve been working from home the whole time. Every time I come in here I’m blown away, you got 20 year old kids here right, risking their lives so we can eat.

So I went and got pizza and it was like seven o’clock at night. And then I thought the day time people hadn’t got anything, so I bought lunch for them. So ,y’all keep doing a good job.” “Thank you, we really appreciate it.”

“No problem. Thank you for everything you guys do.” So, way back when, a hundred years ago, I worked at a grocery store and I remember it was like such a thankless job.

People yelled at me all the time. I mean, it was just a really, really hard job that I had.

And I didn’t have any money at the time. Right. So if you could have done anything to me,

it would’ve been to buy me food, buy me lunch. And here, this is the grocery store I shop at every week and throughout this pandemic

this is where I’ve been doing it. And I really am so thankful and appreciative that these people do what they do to allow me to do what I do.

And just expressing that thanks and putting smiles on their face, does something to me. Now,

look, every now and then I see people on social media, and they say, if you do something kind for somebody,

and you record it, you’re doing that for praise. There’s ten thousand other things I would do for praise. I’m doing this for two reasons.

Number one, I want you guys to see kind acts happen because we see so much bullshit happening in social media and so much negativity.

I want you to see the opposite. Number two, I hope I can inspire you to do something in your life,

to make somebody smile. And always remember that our time on this planet and Solution Focused Therapy, it’s not about what you can for yourself.

It’s about what you can do for other people. Hey, thank you so much for watching that video.

I really appreciate you guys listening to me. Share my thoughts and ideas about Solution Focused Brief Therapy and as I try to make you the very best Solution Focused Brief Therapist that you could possibly be.

If you could please help me share the word, ‘like’, ‘share’ and ‘subscribe’ to my YouTube channel. Help me spread the word of this amazing approach.

Hit the bell on my YouTube channel to get notifications when I post new content.

Head on over to www.elliottconnie.com where I post all kinds of free content, free training materials, and updates on my courses and events.

And I hope to see you in the next video. Thank you.

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