There is Always Hope in Every Difficult Situation

Posted by Elliott Connie - March 21, 2020 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

Like many of you, I have been cooped up in the house dealing with what’s going on in the world. It’s been hard, actually dragging me down a bit, so I got out to go for a walk. While walking, something hit me and it was exactly what I needed in this moment. Hope.


So one time I was working with this client. She was a teenage girl. Kind of late teens late high school. 17, 18, 19, somewhere around there. And I’ll never forget meeting this young girl. She was really, really struggling. I got a call from her saying that she wanted to come in for therapy. She didn’t want her parents to know. In the state of Texas she was old enough that her parents didn’t have to know. And I remember when, I’ll never forget that.

For some reason, it sticks in my mind. I remember walking out to the lobby, and she wasn’t there at the time of the session. Now, the way my office was at that time, whenever there was nobody in the lobby, when I would expect somebody to be there. I would always walk into the hallway and then go into the parking lot and see if, like the client was in the parking lot, if they were lost in the parking lot of the office and I would guide them into my office.

So I went into the hallway and I could tell there was someone in the restroom, so I assumed that this was the person. She was in the washroom, so I just kind of waited for her to come out.

And like, 20 minutes went by. And then finally, this young lady came into my office and we did.

the session. We did the solution focus work that I do. Then the next session,

I think I saw her maybe three times or so, and she made significant improvement. And the biggest problem that this young lady was having was with her family,

her family relationships and an addiction. She was struggling with a heroin addiction. I only saw her those three times and years go by, like many,

many years went by, and she called me and told me that she’s now in law school and her life had changed in all these significant ways.

And she was calling to thank me for the work that I did to help her. And she said that first session she was the bathroom.

She was actually in the bathroom shooting heroin because she was getting dope sick. And in order to get through the session and get through the rest of the day,

she had to get a fix, and I thought about that. I was a holy cow man,

like, I think that’s probably about as like, least likely to be successful in a therapy session as a person could be. Struggling with dope sickness,

literally using heroin, coming to the session we only saw three times. And the work like this woman was able to turn her life around and go to law school.

At the time I talked her, she had years of clean sobriety. She was married, has a child,

all these things. And I was just going for a walk. You know, we’re in this world now of social distancing.

I’m stuck in the house all the time. So I just went for a walk and I was thinking about getting through these hard times.

And I tell people that, like, if you read my most recent book about trauma, a book that I contributed to with Adam Froerer and Johnny Kim and Jacqui von Cziffra-Bergs,

we talked about this idea of vicarious resiliency, meaning, almost like, I get more resilient from being around other resilient people like my clients, and I have got more resilient from talking to resilient clients,

and I was going for this walk just thinking, we’re gonna get through this, like this is a really difficult time.

There’s really crazy things going on in this world. And I thought about this young girl. I thought about this young girl and I thought about everything that that young girl had been through.

And I thought about everything that was impacting her life and all the bad choices she was making. And I thought about that

even she was able to turn her life around, and it just made me realize, like we can get through this.

And if that young lady can get through that and 1000 people that I’ve seen over the years of my career,

if they could get through the difficult things they’ve been getting through, then that provides me hope that anybody can get through anything,

including us, can get through this hard thing. So I think it’s important that we recognize there’s always hope in every difficult situation.

We just have to band together and stick together to get through it. So I wanted to share that with you.

I mean, maybe you’re dealing with the same difficult things I’m dealing with. Like, I’ve been stuck in my house all week,

and I’ve had all kinds of events canceled, which is my primary mode of making money. And I’ve been really stressed and almost depressed just from being isolated.

But then on this walk, I had this little glimmer of light shine on me. This gift that that client gave me,

you know, almost a decade ago. And I hope that I could share it with you and be a reminder to you that anybody can get through anything.

We just have to band together. And we have to work together, and we have to be our best selves,

and then anything is possible. So, look, I hope that this helps you and find you in this time and sheds a little bit of light on your situation and on the situation going on around the world.

We will get through this. We will get through this together. So thank you so much for watching this video.

Don’t forget to head on over to my website www.elliottconnie.com, where you’ll be able to search all my other videos for other content.

You’ll be able to find everything you need in the search tool. We added to the website. I think it’s really cool.

If you’re watching this on YouTube, please like and share and subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the bell

so you get a notification every time I post the video. And if you’re watching this on social media,

leave a comment. I love to interact with you guys. Share this, like this, let’s spread the world of hope and lets spread a light around the world at a time where you’re most needed.

Now normally you guys used to me ending things with a fist pump, but we’re in a crazy time right now,

so elbow bump social distancing!

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