It’s More Than Just Asking Questions

Posted by Elliott Connie - February 7, 2020 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

During the past 2 weeks, I lectured at 2 international conferences, one that I host and one hosted by another organization. At each event, I was able to meet people who have experienced Solution Focused conversations. When asked how this approach helped them, their answers were surprising as well as consistent with one another. This video is all about what they said helped them.


So I’m just back from a super long trip that included going to Austin, Texas, where I hosted my annual Solution Focused Brief Therapy Conference and then on to Essex, where I was the keynote speaker at another Solution Focused Brief Therapy Conference. And I’m in Toronto,

Canada, where have a layover, and I’m just thinking about the things, like the highlights, and things I’m going to take away from this trip.

There’s one thing that stands out to me more than anything else. Along this trip, I got to meet multiple clients that had experienced Solution Focused

Brief Therapy from different professionals. And as a part of the teaching, those clients were asked what made the difference in their life.

And the transformations in these people’s lives was unbelievable. I met a couple of teenagers who went from really struggling in school and at home and with their family relationships, to like being close and bonded and making much better choices.

I met a woman who, in just a very short amount of time, had unbelievable amounts of trauma

happen through out her life, and just a short amount of time seeing some Solution Focused professionals completely transformed her life and when asked what made the difference.

All these people said the same thing. It was how the professional they saw made them feel. They didn’t talk about the techniques,

the miracle question, the scaling question and exception finding. They talked about the inspiration and belief they received from the professionals they were seeing.

And it really touched me because that’s what I’ve been trying to get across to people for so long. It’s not just the questions,

it’s what the beliefs behind the questions do. In order for me to ask questions like this, I have to believe in you.

I have to see the best in you. I have to think highly of you. I have to believe in your capabilities.

I think that’s the magic of Solution Focused Brief Therapy. If you ask questions like this, there’s so much hope and assumptions based upon capacity behind each question that the client can feel that and it reminds me of a little Michelangelo quote.

“People don’t remember what you said, they remember how you made them feel”, and that seems to be true with people who have gone through Solution Focused

Brief Therapy. So sorry I’m not my normal, energetic self. I’m super tired. It’s been a really long couple of weeks and a really long journey,

and I still got some bits to go as I leave here and head home. But I did want to sit down and kind of touch base and let you guys know that the Solution Focused Approach is based on questions,

but it’s not about questions. It’s about the client’s heart. It’s about inspiration. It’s about belief in capacity for people’s ability to change.

That’s at the heart of this approach. And once you understand that, then the questions begin to flow from you and have a greater impact on clients lives.

So thank you for watching this blog video. Please click the bell below so you get videos on my YouTube channel notifications

once I post things. Head on over to my website www.elliottconnie.com. In the meantime, I will see you later.

Don’t forget, leave a comment and a ‘like’ and a ‘share’. I really love to interact with you guys. And until next time…fist bump.

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