Answering My Own SFBT Questions

Posted by Elliott Connie - June 5, 2020 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

In a first in almost 200 videos, I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do for the weekly vlog. But because I’ve been struggling with what’s been going on in this world, I wanted to try to answer Solution Focused questions and demonstrate the power it has to help clients.


For the first time in nearly 200 videos on my blog series, I’m at a loss. Um, I’m at a loss. Like I feel so powerless and so helpless and I’m struggling in a real serious way with what’s going on in the world. And it’s like removing my normal levels of passion and desire to share with you

tips and ideas about using the Solution Focused Approach because like, I mean, that’s the thing about feeling powerless or feeling helpless. You feel like no matter what I do it’s not going to make any difference. So when I was thinking about that, as I was preparing to make this video, and I realized like, is that what clients feel? Really powerless against the circumstances and situations

that come into their life and feeling powerless against the mental health issues or the trauma or the addiction. And part of what we do in Solution Focused Brief Therapy is we ask questions that help people feel empowered and feel powerful, rather than feel powerless. I mean, if we can do nothing else for a client, perhaps helping them feel a sense of power and agency over their problem is enough.

So I thought what I can do today is answer some questions and show you how Solution Focused Brief Therapy does that. So, um, that’s what I’ll do. I’m going to answer some Solution Focused questions myself and let you watch how it works. Because I’ll tell you, man, I need it right now. Like, I need it.

“What are your best hopes from our talking?” “I want more than anything to feel like something will come from all of this. I want more than anything to feel like something will come from these tumultuous times and this tumultuous moment. I want something purposeful, something positive, something worthwhile to come from all the pain and sorrow that’s going on in the world right now.

Like that is, that is what I want.” “If that were to happen. What would you notice about yourself that would let you know that you are contributing to that new environment in a positive way?” “Wow. So if, if that were to happen, I would notice myself being a part of the positive change and conducted myself professionally and personally in a way that honored all of the struggles that got us to this positive place.

And really, really led to having a positive impact in the world. If I were to notice myself contributing to a positive world where all of the sacrifices, pains and struggles were worthwhile to get to where we were going, that would be the most amazing feeling I could ever have, ever!” “And what difference would that make to you Elliott?” “It would make the world of a difference.

It would make, it would make, it would make me feel like we all could contribute to a new world where everybody feels safe and valued and equal. It would make me feel like all of the investment that my ancestors, my grandmother, my mother have put in me, was worthwhile. See, being black is an interesting thing because you recognize you’re not just a black man.

I am the manifestation of the dreams of previous generations who were not allowed to get educated, who were not allowed to vote, who were not allowed to walk free in their own country. So walking around with that responsibility, I would feel this incredible sense of satisfaction to know that everything those people dreamed about and everything those people put in to me was worthwhile.”

“And what difference would that make to you Elliott?” “As I sit here right now in this moment, I can’t think of a more powerful thing to experience then that level of validation and knowing that I was fulfilling the dreams of previous ancestors, I was fulfilling the dreams of people come before me. I was fulfilling the dreams of what it was like to live in a world that was a better place.

And to even know that I can do a small bit, a small part, even, in my little tiny corner of the world to contribute to the world being like that! That would be the best feeling that I could possibly imagine being.” “And who do you think would be the most proud of you?” “Without question my Grandmother, my Grandmother used to tell me

that she thought I was going to be a man that could do positive things. And her nickname for me was ‘Man’, she used to call me ‘Man’ all the time. And towards the end of my Grandma’s life, I had the opportunity to ask her why she called me ‘Man’. And my Grandmother said, because I knew you needed to be one for what God had in store for you in life.

And I carried that around with me. And my Grandmother, if my grandmother could look down upon me and be proud of the man that I am and the way that I am contributing to this world and the way that I was contributing to the experiences of equality and justice and helping social change occur, that’s something! That’s something! Wow, answering these questions is remarkable.” Yeah. So,

listen, thank you guys for just watching and participating in this. Because what I want you to get from this more than anything, is when, like, I have no ability. I’m staying in Chicago right now, right outside that window almost every night this week I’ve heard gunshots, explosions, helicopters. All of the riots are been just around the corner from where I’m staying.

And I have no ability to impact whether the riots are happening or not happening. That is not within my remit. I can’t, I cannot, I feel powerless in my ability to like, fix that problem. But what answering these questions did, even for me in this silliness, is it helps me focus on the things that are meaningful, that I actually do have some power over.

And even as I sit here, like I am ready, I am prepared. I am prepared to do the work that my Grandmother asked me to do a long time ago. My Grandmother asked me to promise, my Grandmother asked me to promise that I would do good in this world when I was in college. When I was in college my Grandmother made me make two promises.

I will take care of my Mother. And I drove all the way to Chicago to be with my Mother during these riots to fulfill that promise. And her second promise was to be good in this world. And I came into this exercise focused on how gut wrenching these riots were. And like, I didn’t know how this conversation was going to go.

I didn’t know how this was going to work. But now 10 minutes later, or nearly 10 minutes later, I feel like my purpose is to continue that work and keep my Grandmother’s promise. So I hope that this demonstration shows you Solution Focused Brief Therapy is not about solving problems. Solution Focused Brief Therapy is not about fixing things that the client has no ability to fix.

Solution Focused Brief Therapy is about finding meaningful agency in your client’s life and helping them realize that there’s always something they can do to kind of reclaim that part of themselves. I hope this helps. Hey, thank you so much for watching that video. I really appreciate you guys listening to me share my thoughts and ideas about Solution Focused Brief Therapy and as I try to make you very best Solution Focused Brief Therapist that you could possibly be. If you could please help me share the word, ‘like’, ‘share’ and ‘subscribe’ to my YouTube Channel. Help me spread the word of this amazing Approach. ‘Hit’ the bell on my YouTube channel to get notifications when I post new content. Head on over to www.elliottconnie.com where I post all kinds of free content, free training materials, and updates on my courses and events.

And I hope to see you in the next video. Thank you.

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